The Trouble with Wisdom


The trouble with wisdom is its timing. Wisdom hasn’t always got the best timing. If you get it when you’re young, your friends won’t want to hang out with you. They’ll say you’re no fun. And they’d be right.

If wisdom dawns on its usual schedule, you won’t be able to remember it. And nobody’s hanging out then anyway.

My humble suggestion is this: when you’re young, hang with your grandparents. They’re much more charming than your parents, who have to put up with you through puberty and pay for your every misdeed until they remove you from their house. Grandparents laugh more, smile more, and they might have more money. They might like spending some on you, or be more willing to dicker—sometimes. Or they might just give you a car. This actually happened to someone I know. Anyhow, I loved mine.

Then, when you’re old, but not that old, go back to college. Pick a small one in a small town where life is easy. Maharishi University of Management in Fairfield, Iowa, is a great choice because Transcendental Meditation (TM) is part of the curriculum and because of that, the students are almost invariably bright like the stars in the great heavens above and energetic like, like, they’re turbocharged, dude. The Iowa winters are trending shorter and somewhat warmer, the all-organic food on campus is pretty scrumptious, and the campus store has the greatest stuff of any campus store I know (not just books).

Now: in any case, remember that at any age,  a carefully deployed smile can be worth a million smackers. The right smile has huge advantages over even the most carefully chosen words. The mystery you can create with a well-timed smile is fabulously sexy. And that same smile can make ’em think you’re pretty durn wise. Do make sure you have substance sufficient to support it; ya know what I mean?

That wise/sexy combination is, I submit, very tough to beat.

Until next time, dear people and readers and friends, I wish you love. And owls. And wisdom you can remember.




About Russ Wollman

My feet are finally in the water, and I want to keep them there.
This entry was posted in Friends, Humor, Iowa, Love and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to The Trouble with Wisdom

  1. Ian McCloy says:

    nice. So true.

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